Dating A Poster Boy
by Show-Stealing
Summary: She has feelings for the Poster Boy, She doesn't know how to express them to him, but is it to late? Are they in that dreaded friend zone people think you can't get out off?
1. Prologue

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

**Prologue**

_**Diary entry of Mickie James**_

_Ugh, it's happening again. Feelings. Don't you hate those? I know I do. Feelings never lead me anywhere good. They're annoying, really. Here I am just trying to have fun in a flirtatious friendship but these damn feelings just complicate things._

_I'm not in love, but I am certainly in like. As in really like. Who is it that I am speaking of? Oh, you know, just the guy I promised to myself and all of you that I wouldn't ever have feelings for again. HAHA. That didn't happen. I kind of knew it wouldn't all along but decided to continue with it despite those inclinations. He took my wrestler 'virginity' he is the only wrestler I've ever considered getting involved with, I mean I guess im never one to mix business with pleasure, I hope he doesn't share that same sentiment and now he's taking my heart. Stop it! I'd like to keep that, thanks. Re-Reading that I made it sound like we have been hooking up or something, we really haven't that's just in my dreams. Literally._

_I'm in way over my head with this. We've been seeing each other a lot more consistently than ever before and we talk, a lot, and laugh, a lot, and smile, a lot. I love his sense of humour and that he likes the same sports teams as me. Well that's what I tell him anyway, I love it when he wears his tight white shirt and a backwards hat. I love how he makes the blue steel face every time I enter the room because I tell him I hate it when really, I think it's hilarious. I love how he plays x-box with the younger wrestlers and kisses his biceps when he beats them like the fact there huge have a part to play in his once in a blue moon victory. Oh gosh, what is this? I'm making myself nauseous._

_It's just crazy how our relationship has progressed since November. Yeah, I've been friends with this guy for what feels like a lifetime. Weird, right? I know I said to some friends I didn't want to form feelings for him but that was only because I never thought that he would form any for me. But lately, that doesn't seem to be the case. He calls me 'babe' now and while I'm generally opposed to pet names, I don't hate it. He also asked me about my plans after wrestling the other night and when I asked if he'd miss me he said that of course he would but he still is going to see me. I didn't ask any questions after that mostly because I was overwhelmed with excitement over the prospect of having him in my life even after all this, that would be his choice to see me then, he kind of has to at this time because we all work so closely as a unit to make this product work. Admittedly, that's exactly what I want. If this were to turn into something more, well, I'd be the happiest girl in the world if that were to happen._

_Letting go of him scares me, quite frankly. What we have is so good, I don't want to lose it. But there's only so much time for moves to be made and I don't really want to be the first one to make them. Fingers crossed, he'll be the move maker. I'll let you know._

_So, tell me. Am I crazy for wanting that? Would it be the most horrible thing if I were to bring this up to him let's say, this week? I hope you don't think so because I want nothing more than to be committed to only him. A lot of the time I feel like he wants the same thing but I can't really know that for sure until I ask. But what if I do ask and then this all just falls to pieces? Is it worth ruining what we have going on?_

_I want to not be afraid of rejection. I know myself well enough to know that I don't take well to it. Rejected me is like my already overly emotional self times a billion. No one wants to have to deal with that._

_This may seem strange but although I'm not sure what this relationship is, it's the longest one I've ever been in. Six months is a long time to not know what your status is with someone so I think it's time I figure it out._

_I'm not much of a risk-taker but in this case, if I do say something about us being together, it's a risk, and if I don't, it's still a risk. So a risk I shall take. Wish me luck! And tell me I'm not crazy._

_These last six months went by a lot faster than I ever thought they would have. And I didn't get as far as I'd hoped I would when I first set out to make something more of a friendship. We're still just friends. We're still just buddies. But I want to change that once and for all._

_For three years, I've been silent. I've watched a few girls look at him with those doe eyes. I've watched him shine and win and be downright amazing. I've been so proud of him. So proud to know him. To be able to say 'Yes, that's one of my good friends.' I don't want to be silent any more._

_I guess this has been brewing for quite some time. But I must say that these past weeks have really put me to the test. And I'm at my tipping point. I feel like I'll explode if I don't do or say something soon._

_All along, it was never these girls in the clubs all over him I had to worry about. It was actually one of his friends that has had a crush on him for a while. And though I know he never returned those feelings, it still hurt to realize that there really was another girl, another threat, looming so close for so long._

_Yet I could not hate her. How could I? I was, I am, in the exact same position as her. Except she got to lay her head on his shoulder while he held her in his arms during slow songs all night. She got farther than I ever have or will._

_Sure, he kissed me. But never on the lips. Sure, he danced with me, but never slowly._

_It drives me crazy, the things he does. Does he do all that crap just to tease me? Does he think I wouldn't think about all those things all night every night? See, the trouble with girls, my friend, is that they count every instance that he kissed them. They remember every time that he asked them on a friendship date or complimented them. When he says he'd do anything for her, she wonders if he's serious or not. If he mean's something, make sure she knows it. Otherwise, she might never know._

_I don't know if we'll have this summer for a romance at all. I know we might have some days to hang out as buddies. But nothing is guaranteed. He does have other more interesting buddies to be around, ones he can check girls out with._

_That's why I have to speak up._

_I know he's going to start searching for the one like he often says he will start doing soon. And I don't want to complicate things by professing my crazy feelings for him. But I have to speak now or forever hold my peace. My sisters say I'll regret it if I don't say anything, always thinking about what could have been, would have been, should have been. And I agree._

_I can't stand here any longer taking his kisses on the cheek that may or may not mean anything. I can't keep sitting here listening to him ask me on these 'dates' and wondering if I really hear that undercurrent of true curiosity and hope in his voice when you ask._

_So next time he kisses me, I'll kiss him back. On the lips._

_Next time we hug, I won't be the first to pull away like I always do because I don't want to seem desperate or let him know my feelings because he might not like me back._

_Next time he asks me on a date, I'll say, 'Yes, of course.'_

_Next time I see him, I might just tell him how I feel._

_Because I know deep inside of me though I wouldn't admit it to him, I'm in love with him._

* * *

_**Would you want to see more of this? I wrote this as a one-shot but I'm thinking it could be a great fan fiction!**_

_**Any ideas on how to take this forward?**_


	2. Chapter 1

_**Overall the response was a good one, people didn't seem to like the diary entry idea and want actual happenings. I wasn't intending to have a story just of diary entries so no worries there. I may have a short entry at the end of each chapter from mickie's pov because the story will be from john's pov and no, he isn't having a diary, so don't worry the person who didn't want that, it was never in the picture. So I hope you enjoy this chapter and I covered any apprehensions, if you have any don't hesitate in messaging me here, youtube (user name: missloveiseverything) or on twitter (Lexi_Price).**_

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_**Thank you's - hehe (who ever you are lol), Kelly, JohnCenaRKOfanforever, guest (again who ever you are lol), the real champs, xhugsforcena, divadoll15, cena's baby doll, randyortonrules62, wwe-stories, Rickkss, viper Cena fan.**_

* * *

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 1**_

I was wandering around backstage shaking hands, drinking my water getting ready for the show tonight. I came around a corner and she was sat on a crate writing, she's always writing in that stupid thick book she has with her.

I crept up behind her "Whatcha got there?" I snatched it from around her and pretended to read it

"John!" she shouted trying to get it back "Give me it" I noticed a look of urgency in her eyes, so I made it easy for her to grab it which she did, she closed it and folded her arms over it against her chest. She was just looking at me, it was like she was wanting to say something. "You ok?"

She nodded fast just looking at me "...yeah"

"Ok so um, You my room afterwards? Just the special people are invited to this meal in my room yanno" I smiled at her, she didn't seem all together with it, like her mind was somewhere else, maybe she's nervous about her match, I wouldn't know.

"Sure" she nodded, she was being short with me, normally she was talkative, she's the only diva who just has a conversation with me, most just stare.

"Alright then, See ya later" I nodded and just walked away, I needed to talk to her but she didn't seem to want to.

* * *

I sat down in the locker room pulling out my merchandise shirt, I pulled my shirt off and as I got my arms into the green shirt I spoke "I've invited mickie over tonight" as I pulled the shirt down I heard groans and voices of disapproval.

"Anyone would think you had a crush on her the way your carrying on" Triple h shook his head disapprovingly, I looked away from everyone leaning forward hands clasped, I turned my head back to them.

"What part of boy's night don't you get?" Dolph Ziggler put his arms out as he stood up straight from putting his boots on.

"Don't talk to me like that" I looked into his eyes "We may be friend's but you'll show me respect" Dolph just sat down pulling his shirt on before extending a hand for me to slap as a way of apologising. "Look, she probably won't even stay long, she's being off with me, so I wouldn't worry about it"

"oooh what have you done?" I chuckled at hunters comment towards me, it was very high school teenage girl like. He coughed "What's up with the bitch?"

I rose my eyebrows at him as I chuckled "I don't know, she's just being pissy with me, probably that time of the month or something" I shrugged sitting back looking to the door where a voice cleared there throat.

"Not everything that makes a women moody is related to her period John" I stared at the suited Stephanie McMahon in the door way with her papers, I pulled a face when she said period "Oh grow up John" she rolled her eyes as she handed me the run sheet for tonight. I pulled a face behind her back, I looked like a scowled child however when I got a stare from hunter.

"Do you know what's wrong with mickie?" I asked looking at my boss "I know your not exactly close with her but you work with the divas you must here the gossip"

"I do" she looked at me "She told me personally what's wrong" she smirked "But I'm not telling you, you'll have to figure that out for yourself like every other man would have to"

Randy Orton one of my closest friends who I tell everything even the deepest feelings that I don't necessarily show I have in the locker room are expressed to him, he sometimes knows me better than I know myself.

He was chuckling shaking his head "Dude your in the dog house with mickie" I looked at him "She told me not even you taking her Starbucks in the morning would make this better"

"You take her Starbucks in the morning?" steph asked with a tone of surprise in her voice, she was smiling. I nodded "Aww that's so sweet, why don't you do that" she back handed hunters shoulder.

"Dude! Do you have to make me look bad in front of my wife"

"Come on you we have work to do" steph laughed leading the way as hunter followed on behind, I tilted my head back trying to rack my brains around what I could of possibly done wrong.

* * *

_**Diary entry of mickie james**_

_I bottled it, I had the opportunity to tell John and I bottled it, he came up just after I finished my last entry. I looked into those eyes and I couldn't face loosing him, I just know if I tell him how I feel he'll run a mile, he's always telling me how he likes im the only diva to not drool over him, sometimes I could slap him how cocky he seems when he says that._

_He asked me to go over to his room tonight, just special people are invited apparently in other words, a lot of people are going who will be talking about it and he has to invite me because he thinks I'll be annoyed if he doesn't._

_I don't know where I stand any more._

_I need some thinking time._

_Until next time._

_MJ_


	3. Chapter 2

_**Sorry for the wait! i'll admit, a tad hard to write this one, I know bad right, 3 chapters in, but if you have any suggestions please send them, I'm not writing this story in advice so I can add in anything people may want to happen.**_

_**Suggestions would be greatly received, obviously not, the old 'they get together' it's to simple, make it hard for them ;P obviously I would credit you :D**_

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_**Thank you's – Divadoll15, JohnCenaRKOfanforever, xhugsforcena, xRyderOrRiot, therealchamps, randyortonrules62, cena's baby doll, 1222mercedes1222, johncenaandmickiejamesfan.**_

* * *

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 2**_

I was stood amongst my colleagues sharing a drink in my hotel room, it was busy and I looked for mickie, I felt ashamed she was an after thought when it came to inviting her this evening. Deep down I know she knew that also but I didn't want to let myself fully believe that one of my closest friends was an after thought.

I came across a few divas, they looked at me when I approached and stood not saying anything, I took a breathe and just asked after I realised what I was doing was very creepy "Is mickie not coming?" I asked, I didn't want it to look like I burned for her to be here. I was never one to let other people know my feelings, apart from maybe orton.

"She's left for the next city already, she said she has an early morning radio show in the next city" Kelly spoke sipping her drink through a straw

"oh" I soon shed that feeling of disappointment I got in my chest, I kinda hoped she would be here, I know sometimes I don't want to be seen to be with mickie in clubs, I don't know whether that's because I don't want other women to think we're dating or the fact I'm embarrassed to be seen with her. Mickie can be shy sometimes and doesn't like to dress like many other women, she covers up a lot, some of the looks she gets I don't know how she copes with them sometimes.

As I returned to a group of guys I joined in the conversation trying to push the image of mickie to the back of my head and mind, wrongfully on some level, but I am allowed to enjoy myself even though she isn't here.

* * *

I was stood in the full wall length windows, I was watching her down in the hotel gardens, I wasn't many floors up so I had a good view, I was also out of view to her and the man that had his hood up so I couldn't tell who it was, she was with some man laughing and joking eating ice cream.

"I thought she had left" I said softly to Kelly not taking my eyes off mickie.

"Sorry John, that's what she told us, she said she didn't want to tell you because she knew you'd be upset she couldn't make it"

"I'm upset because she lied" I lent against the window as Kelly walked away back to the girls, no doubt to tell her what a fool I have been. I hate when people make a fool out of me, I can deal with it if I do it to myself when it's someone else and out of my control, it just pisses me off.

I closed my eyes when a hand slid over my back knowing who it would be "She doesn't deserve you as a friend" she said leaning her head against mine "Just come and enjoy your party, forget about her"

"Tish don't" I was irritated by her at the minute, she didn't seem to understand what I thought mickie meant to me, what I thought I meant to her. I pulled my body away from her. "leave me alone tish"

"You really think standing there watching her with him is going to make this situation any better" she opened her arms to me when I looked at her "You've always loved my hugs, come here" she smiled, I slid my arms around her and held her close burying my face in her neck. I missed her, the feel of her arms around me, the smell of her. The way her hair tickled my face. "Your to good of a friend sometimes"

"You keep going on I'm walking away" I mumbled as I rested my chin on her shoulder

"Your such a baby sometimes" she chuckled giving me a small squeeze, I did the same back but she let out a small squeal by the strength I did it back with, we both chuckled pulling each other that little bit closer.

* * *

_**Diary of mickie james**_

_I sore him with a blonde tonight, he was all over her in the window of his hotel room, I was in the gardens below and made the mistake of glancing up at the moon. He was at her neck for what seemed to be an eternity, I felt sick as I watched her lead him back into the room, he was no doubt on top of her right now._

_I was having a pleasant evening with one of my good friends Alex Riley, John doesn't really like Alex, he's not really been around him to much I think to gather an opinion. He jokes that Alex better not take me from him but I know somewhere he means it, but I actually want to see he means it._

_I can tell you I don't care that he has some hot blonde for a girlfriend but we all know that wouldn't be the whole truth, if he's happy then I'm truly happy for him, but I do wish it was me. I never put John as one of those men that went for looks but for all I know this women could be Mother Theresa reincarnated. Knowing my look she would be, the perfect arm candy wife mother of his children mix._

_Well I'm going to lie in my bed and just pray I can sleep, who knows I may count gold digging blonde whores tonight instead of sheep._

_I'm not bitter at all_

_MJ_


	4. Chapter 3

_**Just a quick message, tish, is not Trish stratus ;P it wasn't a typo lol**_

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_**Thank you's - xryderorriot, therealchamps, JohnCenaRkoFanForever, johncenaandmickiejamesfan, Cena's baby doll, xhugsforcena, amanda, randyortonrules62 and viper cena fan!  
**_

_**keep reviewing, it means the world :D**_

* * *

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 3**_

* * *

I watched her from a far, she was sat ring side tieing her shoe laces, I think she was going to get in some ring time today, I was tired no end late night flight and up early, the life of a poster boy ay?

I walked down the steps from the stands and ended up on the floor seating a few rows back looking at her.

"How come you lied?" mickie looked over her shoulder at me, my stare was stern, I was fully aware of that, I then noticed how nervous she looked, I softened my eyes with a blink. So this is why the diva's get so protective, as strong as she likes to make out herself to be, she really wasn't. Maybe that's why she chose wrestling give out the persona that she was strong when she wasn't, I mean emotionally, but sometimes the two go together.

My phone beeped I sighed and dug in my pocket reading the message from tish that made me smile, that women has a way with words, but I got that weird sensation in my stomach that wasn't quite right, I looked up and mickie was pale, she was sweating, her eyes were rolling.

"Orton" I shouted going to mickie's side, I put my hand up and he knew the drill he through me a bottle of water, I handed it to her as Randy returned to his conversation. I saw her as she tried to stop her unsteady hands from spilling the water everywhere. _Good lord _I thought, she looked a mess, sounds harsh but she did. "What's going on?" I asked softly leaning forward trying to see her face as she lowered her body.

I sore a glimpse of her face and sore it was tear stained, I reached out to comfort her but she shrank away from my touch, I withdrew my arms away to my side. Maintaining a distance I squatted in front of her "Mickie, I have to go read my lines in the ring, will you be alright if I leave you alone for a little while? I will be back, I'll call one of the girls over to sit with you"

"no.. I'll be all right" I stood up, I sore the tears falling down her cheeks, she wiped them away with the back of her hand, I better excuse myself from the script reading. She wasn't my problem and my show of concern had not been wanted, so I asked myself as to why was I still worried about her? A minute seemed to have passed and she said "Please, just go"

* * *

Mickie was sat in the stands in a corner along side the stage she looked like she was just thinking with her feet up on the chair in front of her, I came towards her and sat beside her, i wanted her to go over my lines with me. Her conversation remained limited to work. Her speech was soft and her manner professional. I found myself listening to the tone of her voice. I found myself watching her hands as she made notes or amendments on the script to make it easier for me to say, flow easier as i said it. It was only when i found myself mentally putting us in a room and me slowly undressing her as she looked into my eyes with that nervous glint, that was when I brought myself back to reality. Mickie was not my type. Hell! If she wasn't working for the same company I probably would never have even given her a second glance. What was happening to me? She had been working for WWE for all these years and i was used to her, so why had I suddenly become more aware of her and her movements? Maybe it was because she seemed to not want to bother with me any more?

"Just the person I've been looking for."

Both I and Mickie looked towards the end of the row. I knew who would be standing there for a mysterious voice had announced his arrival. It would be mystery man from the night before. I found this guy's presence strangely irritating.

"I was just passing by and wondered if Ms James would like to join me for lunch?" His eyes were focused on mickie, it was like I wasn't even here.

"Hi Alex" I spoke, he glanced at me

"yeah, hi"

Mickie's reply was polite but it was a no, I was relieved when she declined I still hadn't brought up why she had been so emotional over the past few days towards me.

* * *

_**Diary of Mickie James**_

_I was nervous when I sore John today, especially after he seemed to know I ditched his party to hang out with Alex, I don't know why but I just cried, I think everything's got on top of me._

_The feelings, being rejected by him, I guess I should just except we'll always just be friends, I sore that blonde today, she had a massive ring on her finger. He's engaged, I can't believe he's engaged and never bothered to tell me._

_He goes on about how I lied, he's also lied, but I don't think I'm meant to know about it so I can't ever bring that up. I think I'll just go back to never thinking about my feelings and just burying them we got on a lot better when I did that._


	5. Chapter 4

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 4**_

* * *

At the end of what i had to do, i looked at my watch. It was 9 pm That explained my gnawing hunger. I decided to call it a day, I knew my lines organised my next lot of flights and booked my hotels. Picking up my papers, I switched off the lights of the office in the arena Vince said I could use for the evening and walked out. I took the walk down to the entrance, bid goodnight to the security man and walked out of the building. I felt exhausted and decided i would pick up a Chinese take-away on my way back to the hotel. I no longer had the energy to prepare a meal for myself. After that I was going to hit my bed. Getting into the car i began driving out of the car park. It was dark outside but as i took the bend i spotted her rental. The mini was parked in the car park facing the side entrance. There was only one other car there and it belonged to the security company.

On impulse I turned the car around and drove back to the entrance. Parking my car beside Mickie's i took the side door back in. The security guard was surprised to see me back so soon but accepted my explanation that i had forgotten my mobile phone. I just prayed that it would not ring until I was in the long corridors away from him and out of hearing range for i could feel it lying in the safety of my coat pocket.

The light was on in the diva's locker room. I walked towards it, the door was open slightly I peered in and mickie was standing barefooted packing her things away. Her weary shoulders arched for relief. I must have made a sound because she began turning to look towards me.

"I thought you were security." she began. Then she noticed my weariness. I caught sight of myself in one of the many mirrors, I looked drained

"I thought everyone had left, You look tired. You are going to kill yourself if you go on like this. Maybe I should advertise the position for script reading partner"

"You look tired yourself, maybe we should advertise for another poster boy" And then she smiled.

I laughed. This was the first time, mickie has joked with me for weeks. In my heart, I knew how true the words were. Me and WWE had been good together. It was the same amount of time to do everything but with two times the volume of work. No, three times. Maybe another poster boy was not such a bad idea after all, some one to take some of the media responsibilities off me. But she was right in that I definitely needed more help in my old age.

"You staying any later?" I asked

"Not really. I was actually just about to leave." With that she slipped her feet into her shoes and picked up her shoulder bag.

We walked out together and took the walk down the corridor together.

"Have you eaten yet? I am famished. If you haven't, would you like to join me?" I asked

I could see she thought of lying but just then her tummy growled.

"I have dinner prepared at the hotel. Thanks anyway" I smiled. I was really so tired. The way she blurted her words out I think she was unable to stop herself she said, "You are welcome to join me if you like. It won't be anything elaborate, just rice and Thai curry I made this morning to heat up and the company won't be wonderful either."

I was exhausted and just wanted to head home but I knew how we probably this time together, to get our friendship back on track. "I'd love that, if you are sure you have enough." then before she changed her mind I said. "I'll follow you"

We reached the hotel in fifteen minutes. She parked near the back of the car park so we could park near each other. Once inside her room, Mickie made me a drink, put on a CD and disappeared into the kitchen refusing my offer to help. In five minutes she had our dinner heated and served. We talked about work during our meal and it turned into a relaxed occasion. We were often silent yet neither of us felt the need to rush into constant conversation. I in particular felt peace around myself. It was oddly comforting to know that nothing was expected of me.

* * *

_**Diary of mickie james**_

_In the lounge , stretched across the sofa, John had fallen fast asleep. So deep a sleep, that even when I placed a pillow beneath his head and covered him with a quilt, he did not wake._

_I sat in the chair opposite him and had my coffee as I write in my diary. I am free to observe John. Not a quick glance, here and there, but really look at him. We live in different worlds. It's not fair to expect him to come down to my world and I would never be able to reach up to his. I could never bring myself to go out of my secure universe. The chains of my past were too strongly bound around me to let me do that!_

_I'm going to finish my coffee, get into my pyjama's and go to bed._

_Until next time_

_MJ._


	6. Chapter 5

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 5**_

* * *

I was woken up by a screaming. I raced into mickie's room i switched on the light and was relieved when mickie was alone, I thought someone had broken into the room. She was in a daze. I called out to her several times. Finally she looked up and I stared at a terrorised pair of brown eyes. With her hair hanging loose and her pale pink nightie, she looked so young and so very afraid. I took a step forward but she shrunk further back. "Mickie, it's me. John. It's John." My words continued to meet a blank dazed look.

Finally Mickie seemed to recognise me. A second later, she rushed out of the bed and flew into my arms. I held her tightly until her sobbing subsided. Then I led her back to the bed. I went into the kitchen and got her a glass of water. After she had drunk it, I coaxed her to lay down then lay down beside her and held her until she fell asleep again. I looked at her face, I gently supported her face against my shoulder and found myself caressing her soft hair.

Mickie's breathing had settled into a steady pace but still I could not bring myself to let her go. I scanned her face once again. She really had quite a nice face. Each feature being evenly placed. I thought I sore her eyes open and close but then put it down to my imagination for mickie had gone into deeper sleep.

Holding her in my arms, I closed my eyes. My last thought was that it would probably be wise to leave now. Leave before it is too late. You are used to dealing with confident beauties. You know nothing about mickie or the baggage she has surrounded herself with, even though I consider her a close friend we know absolutely nothing about each other. Leave before you can't. But instead of leaving, I felt myself falling asleep, still holding her in my arms.

* * *

I could hear Mickie's voice. Then I felt a gentle push. My eyes flew open as I remembered where I was. There was no sign of the youthful looking vulnerable woman I saw the night before, so traumatised that she had gladly accepted my arms. Mickie never really seems to be willing when I ask for hugs. Now she stood in front of me, distant as before. Her hair was tied harshly back, her glasses were on, and her plain dress echoed how she looked. I remembered her eyes, the eyes he had seen last night. Why was she hiding such beautiful eyes behind her glasses, she looked so different without them.

We settled down for breakfast and made small talk, she rarely looked up but when she did she made eye contact every time.

"You want to do something later?" I asked, she glanced up at me and shook her head.

"I can't sorry, I already have plans"

"It's ok" I nodded "I'll just get orton to come entertain me then" I smiled to let her know there was no hard feelings, she was touchy lately, I still have yet to find out why.

* * *

_**Diary of mickie james**_

_John stayed the night last night, he was here when I had my nightmare, he held me back to sleep and he was still there when I woke up the next morning. I had to slip out this morning and go stand on the balcony and shake the cobwebs from my head, no matter what I thought that meant he is getting married after all and even though nothing happened it was highly inappropriate._

* * *

"hey" I smiled putting my hands on tish's shoulders from behind

"Someone's happier" she smiled turning around to me handing me half of her sandwich she knows me to well sometimes this women

"Yeah, things seem to be getting back on track with mickie"

"oh"

"Look tish I know you don't like her all that much but she's my friend, please try"

"Don't know her to have an opinion" she shrugged at me

"Great, you shouldn't have a problem then" I grinned at her kissing her cheek

"Ew! What have I told you about talking with your mouth full and kissing with your mouth full"

"Sorry mother"

"I will tell your mother" I just laughed at tish as I began walking away to sit on a crate not far away I was there literally seconds until Orton walked up to me.

"You need to go control Ryder"

"What? Why me I'm not his baby sitter"

"You claim to be his broski, you go sort the shit out"

I sighed "Fine, hold my sandwich" I shoved my sandwich at randy and made my way towards where I knew for a fact zack would be.

"Dude come on" I was trying not to laugh as I dragged zack out of the diva's locker room, he was trying to profess his love for eve, again. "This is so not cool, just come on"

"oh so displays of affection to women aren't deemed cool" I turned to look at Kelly who stood with her hands on her hips staring at me.

"No" I said, she wouldn't intimidated me with those burning eyes like my mother has "It's degrading you'll never catch me doing it"

"Not even a proposal" I heard her small voice from the other side so I looked into mickie's eyes, I then averted them to bring my body round facing the door putting zack in front of me

"No you'll get the ring shown to you the question asked and that's it, no fancy on one knee bull shit, dude come on!" I shoved zack out the room shutting the door behind me.


	7. Chapter 6

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 6**_

I was deeply engaged in conversation with Trisha, tish, we were seated in one of the corner tables so out of the way in this up scale Italian restaurant, but I felt something pull at me from within, making me look up towards the entrance.

At first i couldn't believe my eyes, i looked away then looked back again, Mickie was defiantly here with Alex! I picked up on mickie's nervousness which made me want to rush over there but Alex came to her rescue with a reassuring hand on her elbow. I don't understand why she'd rather hang out with him rather than me, that's twice now she's picked him over me, its becoming a reoccurring thing.

"Are you ok john?" her voice broke through my thoughts

"Sorry tish it's been a hard day what were you saying?" i asked but didn't hold my attention long enough because i soon went back to watching the new couple.

I looked up at them several times, Mickie was in deep conversation with Alex. I no longer needed to ask myself if it bothered me i just knew. I tried to keep my conversation on tish but my eyes kept drifting back to mickie's table.

"Is there someone more important you'd rather go see"

I looked at tish and rubbed my head "Sorry, you've just shared some wonderful news and instead of telling you how happy i am i got lost in my thoughts again. I'm thrilled!"

"Thank you!" she reached out and took my hand "i was worried what you'd say"

"Oh don't be silly! This is amazing!

* * *

When we were finished i let tish lead the way to where we needed to collect are coats, which happened to be near where mickie was seated.

Alex sent me a little wave, i can't decide whether he was being cocky or polite. I was planning on pretending I didn't see them, but now I can't do that.

"Alex" i shook his hand "Mickie" i nodded at her "Do you know Trisha?" i put a hand to her she just smiled at them and raised a hand to acknowledge them.

"Nice to finally meet you" she nodded smiling, she was always good at pretending to care about my friends, she's always thought they were knobs to be honest, they do stare at her a lot, I should probably do something about that.

_**Diary of mickie james**_

_I promised myself that I'd go to bed as soon as i got back to my room which i did but sleep wouldn't over come me._

_I kept seeing john's face and the engagement ring on her finger, i bet he got down on one knee for her. John was not mine i had no claim to him and i wasn't about to fight for something i never stand to win._

_The strange part was that i took an instant liking to Trisha, when we got talking there was something genuine about her. She turned out to be a model which i kind of knew and feared, but she was untouched by the vanity and snobbishness that career produced. She was... Perfect for him._

_Once again I've been tossing and turning in bed. It was gone 11 and i was hoping to have an early start the next morning in order to make up for the time i had lost on my training. My headache had worsened and sleep was evading me at the time i needed it the most. Finally i got up and made myself a cup of tea. Taking it into the lounge room i sat down in the same seat i had the night Grant had gone to sleep on the lounge. That's when i got this diary out and decided now would be a good time to vent maybe clear my head so i could sleep._

_I stared at the now empty sofa, and then the tears once again fell. I told myself i would be able to avoid john for the next few months and carry on with my job as before, but i knew now that john did not have to be in the room, for me to feel his presence. He was now a part of me and the pain i felt was never going to ease. But at least if he was not in sight i might have a better chance of keeping him off my mind too._


	8. Chapter 7

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 7**_

"John, is everyth..hing alright?" she asked me through her yawn, I didn't answer however I was once again mesmerized, her eyes were having the same hypnotic effect on me as they did the night of the nightmare. I couldn't look away. I was almost sure I didn't even blink. Words would not come out either. It was the elevator doors closing that broke the spell.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I was passing by and your lights were on. I thought I would just check in and see how you are feeling. I hope your feeling better?" I hoped I would be forgiven for my little white lie. No one passes by anywhere at this time of the night. It was about 1 in the morning maybe later.

"I am fine. I was not able to sleep so I was having a cup of tea. Please come in. In fact would you like one?" she asked

"If you're sure I'm not going to keep you awake longer." I hoped I sounded genuine. The truth was I wanted to see her again after I sore her out with Alex, maybe apart of me was checking nothing had gone on between them, even though there both adults and can do whatever with who ever they want, if me seeing her meant that she would miss out on a little sleep, I'd rather that than miss out on her company.

Mickie returned with my tea. She also returned with her glasses.

"Mickie you have the most beautiful eyes that I have seen. Why do you hide them behind those glasses?" I had said it before I could stop himself, I looked down at my tea resting between my hands in my lap.

"I need them to see, I'm blind otherwise, I don't think you'd want me spilling your tea on you" she replied ignoring my compliment.

I knew that she was making up the excuse for she wasn't wearing them before hand, and by the open book on the coffee table she was writing again. I then spilt my tea slightly burning my finger yelling out.

She looked a moment in my direction, then asked "Are you ok?"

I nodded and walked slowly back to his seat. Mickie stood a few moments later, and rose the dimmed lights and came back to her chair.

"I can't have you dropping tea on me as well." with that she took off her glasses. Even in the subdued lighting I could tell that she had been crying, her eyes glistened with the after effects of her tears. If I had been more in control of our situation and our relationship I would have been over consoling her. But mickie had once again built up the wall that only her nightmares seem to bring down. I decided to stay where I was. The dimmer had added softness to her features and I watched them as I took a sip of my tea.

"Mickie, I have to be honest with you, I wasn't just passing by." I acknowledged after my sip.

"I know John" Mickie said, a smile escaping her lips "You can't pass through here. I'm in the end room"

I was glad I had owned up. I was also glad that she was smiling about it. The sign was an encouraging one.

"I actually wanted to speak to you." I was still mesmerized by her eyes. I noticed she took every opportunity to look away; the planes were her most used excuse.

"I was thinking the same thing before you came." she said

"In that case its ladies first. What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked

I moved my body around to be facing her after placing my cup on the coffee table to let her know I was all ears. At that very moment she moved forward and the next moment we had collided.

* * *

_**Diary of Mickie James**_

_John's asleep again, I had the perfect opportunity to tell him but once again I bottled it and just told him about some family issues I had going on, hopefully he'll stop digging for the real reason why I've been off the past few weeks._

_God know's where Trisha thinks he is, this is the second time this week he's stayed out, she's either stupid or has mug written on her forehead, I'm not a jealous girlfriend by any means but when your guy stays out two nights with no warning. You should worry._

_I suppose I should go cover him over again, it's pretty cold here on the border for Massachusetts , it's the snowy season, snow's falling now actually. It's really pretty, I've always enjoyed watching snow fall. It's relaxing I find. I just hope it's not snowing in boston, it'll make it a bitch to land._


	9. Chapter 8

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 8**_

I flew out on the 9 am flight to WWE HQ whilst the raw roster were in Boston for a house show. I hadn't slept at all the night before. Mickie dominated my thoughts every waking moment. And even now, instead of going over my schedule during the flight, I found myself thinking about mickie, trying to comprehend the situation that existed.

I don't want to attend this presentation. All I want to do was be back in Boston. Just see her once more. I knew it was time to talk to tish. She was already close to guessing the truth about the situation anyway. I have the chance to be back in Boston by the end of the day and instead of spending time with my family I'd rather go see mickie. Sort out our friendship for once and for all, ever since tish got the hair and make-up intern ship job here within wwe mickie seemed to be off with me, I don't know whether there connected or it's just a coincidence, mickie's never been anything but polite to tish, it doesn't make sense.

At 11.30 am I was sitting in a meeting with the creative team. For the first time in my life, I had a hard time concentrating. Every time brown came up on the screen, I saw Mickie's eyes. Blue, reminded me of her wrestling clothes. Yellow took me back to her hotel room. I was glad when the lunch break was called. The first thing I did was ring the hair and make up lady, on the pretext that I wanted to speak to tish about her afternoon meeting. She was as polite as she was with everyone, quickly transferring me to Tish's line.

Tish on the other hand showed she was glad to hear from me. She assured me that everything was under control why I needed to know that was beyond me. When i asked if i could speak to her when I got back with the road group, Tish invited me for dinner, and asked me to drive straight from the airport to their place.

* * *

I smiled to myself when I pulled up to a familiar house, the house I grew up in. I got out the car and tish was making her way down the drive as I got my bags out the boot.

"Sorry about the change of plans, you know how your mother get's" I chuckled as I shut my boot, It felt nice to know my family was in that house.

I set my bags down in the hall and followed the noise tish not far behind me, my mother let out a small noise and rushed to me. "Trisha said you were in Connecticut"

"Surprise Mrs Cena" I smiled at tish as she smiled at my mom.

"Dear, how long have you been apart of this family, I've been telling you for years, call me carol"

I watched as tish smiled "Ok, sorry, carol"

"See dear was that so hard" my mom wouldn't take her arms from around me, i secretly liked it, i always wished i could still cuddle up with my mom watching cartoons.

I put my arms around her loosely as i stood catching up with my father, it was mainly about how far he'd got on building the car. It was his retirement hobby, something my mom seemed to be displeased about.

* * *

I stood with my father and brother as he did up the car asking us to pass him things, I was on torch duty, that's all I ever was trusted with as a kid and it's just stuck.

"So boy's how's the lady front?" I chuckled at the way my dad always broached this subject, he didn't care but I think he got pressure by my mother to ask as she didn't want to have to.

"Actually dad" the youngest of us spoke, he was just 23, big gaps "it's just golden boy who's single"

"What?" we all shouted my dad hit his head on the car bonnet lifting his head to look at the youngest Cena child, Sean.

Sean stared at us confused "What?" he mumbled, then all eyes turned to me. "it's true" Sean confirmed my questionable look, was it true, was my brother seeing someone and I wasn't.

"Surely not" I said "Really?"

"Yupp" Sean nodded smiling "John's the only one that isn't getting any"

I looked at him "Seriously dude?" he held his phone to me, it was a rather x rated message from the girl I'd met not an hour before who seemed to be shy, I guess not. "Wow" he just smirked "Ok look, I have girls throw themselves at me daily, I think I'd get laid if I wanted to just back off"

"You do the 5 knuckle shuffle right?" I looked to Sean "Is that nightly or just in the ring?" everyone let out a chuckle whilst I looked on not amused.

"Your not funny"

"Your dying to laugh"

"I'm really not" I couldn't help but chuckle slightly, it really was good to be home, my contract expires soon, there's talk of them wanting to re-sign me to a better longer deal, I'm considering not re-signing.


	10. Chapter 9

_**Dating A Poster Boy**_

_**Chapter 9**_

I woke up in a cold sweat, I then realised why, mickie was having another nightmare, my mother invited her over for dinner and I offered for her to stay in my spare room as the hotel was a fare old drive away and she'd drank to much to drive so a taxi would cost her a lot of money.

I rushed to the spare room so she didn't wake tish, I touched mickie's arm, barely, and she jumped up staring at me like I was about to beat her.

"It's me" I spoke softly "It's me" I sore her chest rising and falling as her breathing was erratic "Let's just lay down ok, and calm down" I carefully got into her bed leaving her side uncovered, I watched as she glanced towards the door "The house is all locked up, no one's getting in" she slowly moved into the bed and tentatively cuddled up into me, I rubbed her back softly and watched as her eyes began to become heavy, they shut and her breathing relaxed into a peaceful rhythm.

I looked to her night stand to turn the lamp out, it made me feel sad to think what ever is going on with her causes her to feel the need to sleep with the light on.

"Don't" her voice said as I reached for the switch.

I looked down into her eyes and all I could see is fear "I'm here, nothing's going to hurt you" I continued to look into her eyes "ok" I whispered and turned the light out.

* * *

The next thing I new I was waking up in the same position I remember being in, me sitting up slightly her head laying on my stomach, I looked down she was sleeping, her face was facing me.

I leant my head back, it's strange how you think you know someone then over a matter of weeks they reveal things you never thought they were capable of, I never thought her of the type to get scared, especially of something like the dark.

I felt her begin to move, her eyes were open, I didn't move, I think she thought I was still asleep, she slowly sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, it seemed to be perfect, tish was a mess in the morning and that was putting it politely.

"Hey" I spoke softly, she looked over her shoulder at me and looked down

"...Thanks, yanno, for last night" she looked away again, maybe looking for an escape route.

"It's ok, if you can't be there for friends who can you be there for" I looked at her for abit, she seemed nervous, on edge. "Hey" I whispered "It's early why don't we go back to sleep"

* * *

I laughed as I grabbed mickie's waist as we got into the canteen "Give me my drink" I grabbed it from her hand and placed it on the table beside us as I turned her to me, our eyes connected our laughs faded our smiles disappeared and our lips connected. As our lips slowly moved against each others I could here a distant noise of cheering and clapping.

I pulled my lips away and asked hushed "Why are they watching and cheering us?"

"Because you've been the only one to never see what I felt for you"

"What do you mean?"

I watched her take a breathe "I'm in love with you John, I have been for awhile"

I glanced down then into her eyes "Kinda wish i knew that a while back"

"Why?"

"I love you to" I whispered putting my forehead against hers "Didn't really want to tell you that in front of all these buffoons"

"I just told it all to my diary"

"That's what that is?" I smiled towards her

"You may be allowed to read that one day, just the parts about you though"

"if that, don't want to hear how dreamy you think I am"

"shut up" she laughed shoving me in the gut I pulled her back into me by her shirt grinning

"Got a feeling this is going to be good" I nodded "For you I mean, dating the poster boy after all" we embraced and began kissing again, and i knew, i never wanted to let her go again!

_**The End!**_


End file.
